New Avengers: Endgame footage shows Ant-Man flying (probably right up Thanos’ ass)



With Avengers: Endgame just over a week away, Marvel has revealed an all-too-brief selection of new footage from the film. It has the usual stuff – lots of suiting up and putting on helmets, a little good-natured ribbing about vomiting in space – and even some of Captain Marvel flying around in her full fiery glory. But the most important part, the absolute crux of the trailer is roughly half a second of Ant-Man soaring fists-first toward the camera. Where could he possibly be going in such a hurry? Oh, you know it’s gotta be right up Thanos’ butt.

If you haven’t been following along with the internet, Marvel fans have come to a conclusion: the best shot the Avengers have of defeating Thanos is the opposite of a frontal assault. Why attack him where he’s the strongest? Ant-Man could just shrink down, run underneath Thanos when he’s distracted, then jump waaaaaay up inside his butthole. Once firmly lodged in the Mad Titan’s colon, Ant-Man could push his “get giant” button, expand to roughly a hundred times his normal size, and literally tear Thanos a new one. A new everything.

Here, this fan-made mockup should clarify the scenario.

It’s a perfect plan. Despite initial protests, not even Ant-Man actor Paul Rudd could find issue with it in a recent Graham Norton Show interview, admitting it’s ‘scientifically right’ that infiltrating Thanos through the ear or nose could not yield the same whole-body explosion effect. After all, if you come at the king, you best not miss (his butthole).

If you want to see another potential solution that doesn’t involve intestinal destruction, check out this Avengers: Endgame time travel theory. Or get up to speed fast with our 60 second review of Captain Marvel, featuring no colon-splosions whatsoever.

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